Diversion Time

There have been so many fucked up searches leading to this blog that I just have to do this. Ladies and gentlemen, or whatever you really are, we now take a detour from our story to present the LAST TEN SEARCHES TO MY BLOG!!!! Oh glory, oh fun! Something to make fun of--and believe me, I've gotta! Some of them made me chuckle but one really grossed me out! You'll know it when you see it.

1. Someone was searching for BARRY DILLARD. My character probably wasn't the Barry Dillard they were looking for. But my Barry Dillard is so much cooler than theirs! Only kidding, I'm sure their Barry Dillard is cool too. You will find my Barry Dillard in this post.

Barry is best described as a "boxy little bloke." He was born in London, in the fictional borough of Crouch End. He is 55 years old at the time of this writing. He is the lead singer for the very popular fictional band Metal Mass. Although small in stature, Barry can definitely take care of himself and has on many an occasion. But even he was not prepared for the evil that he encountered in the vile Jarius Viscu.

2. Some disgusting perv was searching for "Auntie and Nephew Stories." I am happy to disappoint them. You won't find that kind of shit here, Senor or Senora Perverto! I will make it plain that "Aunt Greta" does not have that kind of nasty relationship with her surrogate nephew, and it wouldn't even technically be incest if she did because they aren't blood relations. But emotional incest is nasty too. We run a clean ship here, dammit! Take your incestuous lusts elsewhere--hopefully to a shrink. Pronto!

3. Our next visitor was searching for "Stop! You're giving me the heebie jeebies!"

Awww...thanks! We aim to please!

4. And now I get to give some construction advice. This individual was wondering "what direction does a satanic temple face?"

Well, let me tell you what. South is always down on a map. So a Satanic Temple should face south. But just to make sure you've got it right, once you've built it, you need to stand in front of it, drop trou, bend over and grab your ankles. If Satan buggers you, you know you've got it right. If not, you're probably fucked anyway, because that's just how Satan rolls. And you shouldn't have been mooning him, you silly git. Either way, I don't really care. Just make sure you have the proper permits before you start building.

5. This person was wondering about a "sexy dress to masterbait in." Well, I'm not sure that Azrael Abaddon ever wore a dress while he was masterbaiting. And I really don't want to know. But he was upset with Terry Schonefeld because she hadn't told the sick lust of her fantasy in order to inspire him to masterbait. The rest of his spelling in his critique of her writing was equally cringe-worthy, and Terry's aunt Pam speculated that perhaps the mercifully belated Azrael was drowned by a group of vigilante English teachers determined to prevent his atrocious spelling and literary handicaps from spreading.

6. This person wanted to know how tall Pelle Ohlin was. It's strange that they were brought here because I don't believe I've ever mentioned that factoid. I hazard a guess that he was approximately 6'4" tall. Thanks for playing!

7. This person was simply searching for Per "Pelle" Ohlin. He's mentioned in this chapter. His height, however, remains under speculation.

8. Oh for...there are more pervs looking for stories about aunts and nephews doing the nasty! Like I told you in Entry #2, we don't have any of that kind of shit here! Now bugger off.

9. This person was looking for LISA NASIR. I don't suppose that our Lisa Nasir was the one they were looking for.

My Lisa Nasir is protagonist Terry Bruckham's (aka Schoenfield, or Schonefeld if you are Azrael Abaddon) cousin. She stands up for Terry against the attack of critic and wannabe romance novelist Megan Lucas. You can read Lisa's chapter here.

10. This person was looking for "poems beneath the surface." The only poem featured so far can be found right here. It's called "The One Who Waits Beneath The Surface." Hope ya like it! *shameless self-promotion* And if you do, hell, why not buy the book? The e-book's only five bucks, Kiddies! If you like spooky stuff, you may just really dig this. But if you're looking for aunt and nephew incest please, for the love of all that's holy and otherwise, go the hell away!

Thanks for playing! Come back later this week for another exciting chapter, which will also not contain aunt-nephew incest. Have a good one!

Lily and the Ghost

A Diversion

Cash Advance Loans

O.K., Like, I know it doesn't have anything to do with the story but I, like, totally couldn't resist finding out!

Actually, I didn't talk like that in high school, except to mock the people who did talk like that. I was one of those people who was cutting class and going off into the field behind the school to get stoned. Which may explain why I never amounted to jack shit. And why I can't remember to post the new story segment on Friday. Now you know!

Lily

Bloggus Interruptus

My millions of readers, you are very lucky! You get an extra chapter this week because Lily can't read! Specifically, Lily is not good at reading instructions. I wanted to promote my blogs on Blog Explosion. Luckily I just read that you're supposed to have a minimum of five posts. So lucky you--you get this crap post, and an extra chapter this week! If you're enjoying the story, you're probably glad that I can't follow instructions!
And if you're really enjoying it, buy the book! Remember, it supports a worthy cause. The e-book is just five bucks. Check out your options by clicking the Buy the Book tab on the Official Site.

Profile image

The Site and the Rules

Welcome to the official blog for the unique new horror novel, Lost Beneath the Surface. Two things make this novel different from any other. First and best, half of all proceeds will be donated to the World Health Organization's mental health division. Second and most interesting, the novel was co-written by a real ghost. He died by suicide sixteen years ago.
We chose the World Health Organization's mental health division as the charity to which to donate half of our profits because both the incarnate and discarnate authors suffer from mental illness. I (Lily,) the incarnate author, have bipolar disorder and have made numerous suicide attempts during my life. I have always had psychic abilities but they are "raw." I have never worked on developing them. The discarnate author had dissociative identity disorder. His main protector personality was very wounded and angry. This personality manifested evidence of serious mental disturbance which could never have developed without extreme traumatic experience. It is the personality that eventually ended the life of the body.
My co-author did not approach me with the intent of using my spirit communication abilities to help him write a book. He was simply grateful for my offering him sympathy and healing energy and for listening to what he had to say. As far as I know I am the first person that the various personalities in his soul collective revealed the truth about themselves to, and they were grateful for the individual acknowledgment.
Nor did I seek out a ghost to write a book with and had I, this person (with his various fascinating personalities) wouldn't have been on my list of potential co-authors. I intended to write my own book and use my real name when it was published. I simply wanted to feature my new friend in a cameo role in my story. He was flattered by this and was curious about what I was writing. I was open to suggestions and he was excited about giving them. All of his personalities had a difficult life and had been lonely for a long time after the death of their body. They wanted to send an important message and the story we were creating was a perfect medium for them to be able to do so. The resulting book is very different than the story I set out to create. And now I have a new challenge: how to promote such an unusual item.
Thus we come to the rules of this blog. I personally hate rules but I find that they are sometimes necessary.
First, it really doesn't concern me whether you actually believe that I can talk to ghosts or whether you even believe in spirits at all. This blog is not a forum for engaging in debate about this topic, it is a forum for promoting the book. I have neither the time nor the desire to engage in debate about metaphysics or religion. I have stated my position. Suffice it to say that I fully believe that I have the ability to communicate with spirits. My abilities aren't perfect by any means: I have never worked to hone them. I sense emotions and what I call "pure thought." I tend to know strange things that I should have no way of knowing. I also have abilities in divination and am working on marketing this skill. I will probably create a divination blog and a metaphysical forum as well as time goes on, but there are only so many hours in a day, and I have a full time job as well as my voluntary job writing and promoting my work!
As to my religious and philosophical beliefs, I identify myself as a Pagan and a Buddhist. While I have the greatest of regard for Jesus the master healer and teacher, I do not mix well with Fundamentalist Christians, whose philosophies I find judgmental and whom I feel missed the point of what this great enlightened soul had to say. And while I think that Anton La Vey was an intelligent man who had the ability to inspire others to think whether or not they agreed with his philosophies, I am not a Satanist. Generally speaking, I believe that Satan is a Christian anti-deity and they can keep him, I don't want him. And this is the only statement I will make regarding religion on this blog.
At any rate, whether you believe I am a medium or simply a harmless madwoman is of no consequence to me. What I do want you to realize is that I really do hope to use my abilities to make a difference in getting compassionate, effective treatment to as many persons suffering from mental illness as possible and in working to end the stigmas that all persons who are mentally ill endure. And while I am interested in and value opinions regarding my writing style, I would drive myself crazier by worrying about trying to please everybody who reads my work. I hope you like it, but if you don't, so be it. While I don't expect anyone to suck up to me or tell me I'm the greatest thing since Stephen King, comments such as "this sucks and you are a crazy ass loser bitch" are non-productive, show the author to be an immature idiot, and will be deleted.
The purpose of this site is to get people interested in reading the book. It is 500 trade size pages in length. A new chapter will be published every week to two weeks. Some chapters are shorter than others. No whining! If you like what you read, the charitable cause it supports, or both, buy a copy of the book! No more waiting to find out what happens next! Plus its good Karma for you.
I will include banners in my side bar. Steal them and use them on your site to help me promote the book and its mission! Link to me and quote me. I appreciate all the help I can get. All text and images are copyright by Lily Strange and while I give you permission to use them, I hope that you will do the right thing and attribute the creations to the source!
Best wishes--enjoy!
Lily and the Ghost