Just for Fun

What Kind of Halloween Candy Are You? Skullpops You are Skullpops! You just love the spookiness of Halloween, from haunted houses to ghastly costumes. Skullpops are perfect for you because they're just as creepy as you are! Food-Drink Quizzes

What's your inner demon? Lurker You lurk with in the shadows and keep within your mind. When people feel like their being watched, it's normally you who is to blame. Silent and creepy. GET OUT AND SEE THE SUNSHINE! Pain-Gore-Death Quizzes

Change In Donation Focus

This rules so much that I'm spilling tea all over my desk and dribbling soup out the side of my mouth. My co-author is looking at me like he thinks I'm rabid and seems to be considering dressing as a nun and joining a convent in order to escape from me. (Only kidding--please don't hurt me!)

At this moment, I'm taking a moment to reflect on how lucky I am that this particular ghost likes me, because if he didn't he could make my life pretty miserable. I certainly give him enough reason to with comments like the above! But as usual I digress. The organization that we're donating his share of the vast and mighty profits from the sales of the book to has changed. Check it out below!

How crazy is Lily? Crazy enough to try and raise a million bucks for our chosen cause! But I sure as shootin' can't do it without you! (My pardner loves it when I talk like this. It makes him think he's been imprisoned in a rerun of Gunsmoke.) Folks, I'm so broke I'm living in a ramshackle trailer and can't pay my bills, let alone donate a worthy amount to a worthy cause. But if you help me, we can git 'er done! So what are you waiting for? Do it--now! Or my co-author will sing at your church!

Top Ten Fears

Stephen King once made a list of his top ten fears. Just for shits and grins, here's mine.

1. Fear for the health and safety of loved ones
2. Fear of suffocation/strangulation
3. Fear of the dark
4. Fear of enclosed spaces (claustrophobia)
5. Fear of insects
6. Fear of death (seems odd given the belief in an afterlife and numerous suicide attempts, but is more a fear of the dying process than of the state of being dead/noncorporeal)
7. Fear of ridicule
8. Fear of failure
9. Fear of other people (paranoia)
10. Fear of falling

The list goes on but those are the top 10.

Outskirts Press Plug

As the first draft of the second book nears completion (well, sort of) I have again signed on with Outskirts Press for the publication of the second book, which will probably be released in 2010.

Many different packages are available and they publish almost everything, except for porn and hate literature. If you have something in the works, you might want to check them out for yourself.

There are companies out there who allow you to publish your book "free," but you will still have to pay for printing, storage and promotion. In the long run, I find that I'd pay about as much anyway and having a reliable publisher is worthwhile to me.

2 Easy And Free Ways to Support the Insanity

1. Download the all-new Toolbar that you will find in the sidebar. It's easy to locate--it says Download Our Toolbar.
2. Tell your friends, your friends' friends, and all the lunatics at the asylum to download the toolbar too. Of course some of these may well be the same people. That's o.k. just tell them twice!
Thanks!

Funny and Not

I'm wondering about all these Adsense type things that I have set up on this site. Right now they're all advertising products to eliminate excessive armpit odor. Come now--where in the purple fuck do I mention armpit odor on this site? Could it be that they can smell me from here? I've been having to shower at work. My shower isn't working. The one in my son's room is still good, but I don't feel right about going in there to shower. So sometimes, admissibly, it's a few days between. Hell, we can't all have the lap of luxury. I can't afford to get the shower fixed. And the last couple of nights I was too tired to go into work in time to get a shower. So I guess I ain't exactly a field of lilies right now. Too fucking bad.
I was mentioning in the last post about my friend's concern over me losing the magical aspect of myself and feeling helpless because even he in all his ethereal ghostliness can't give it back to me. It's exhaustion, stress, pure and simple, and a feeling of giving up on everything because shit has just never worked my way. I have to go for orientation to the nursing program tomorrow, something I really don't want to do. The only reason I'm getting my nursing license is because everything costs so god damn much and I need to be able to make more money. I have no delusions of being Florence Fucking Nightingale. I work with the elderly and unlike some people I treat them with respect rather than condescension. There's some of them who are sour, unpleasant old so and so's, but for the most part, they're just people. I figure, if you've made it to 80 or 90 years old, the least people can do is treat you with respect. Age in this society is seen as something to have disdain for and I think that's wrong. You shouldn't have disdain for anyone based on age, gender, or race. Anybody who disagrees with me can go suck an exhaust pipe. I don't have any tolerance for racism, sexism, ageism, or homophobia.
I have the greatest of respect for caregivers, but I just don't feel like it's my path. I always wanted to work in the arts: writing, acting, drawing cartoons, something. But it's never come together. I feel like I, the real me, what I wanted to be and should be, is trapped in a dead body that refuses to lie down. I never became. And it causes serious distress.
I feel really angry with myself for this. In the past I would have cut myself to bring the poison to the outside. Its counterproductive. I don't do it any more. But I am highly dissatisfied. Why the fuck does the Universe give skills, talents, gifts, whatever to a person and then say "well, fucker, you're on your own. Here's the creek and you ain't got no paddle."
Sometimes I think the powers that be are just straight up sadistic. And for that I fart in their general direction. Maybe they'll send me some of that stuff for excessive sweat, and some of those charcoal liners for excessive gas. Not that I actually have either--at least not at the moment. Just that it would be about what I'd reckon on from the Powers that Be. A break certainly doesn't seem to be "in the cards."

Update

Hello people.

I've been having some health issues and wonder if I really had to go through all this junk just to prove to myself that I cannot take prescription medications except for the occasional dose of antibiotic for severe infections. The thyroid medicine I was on created a case of artificial hyperthyroidism which really messed me up in ways too numerous to mention including elevated blood pressure. The blood pressure medicine has other nasty side effects so I only take it if I really have to. Not good for someone who's bipolar when they forget to take their lithium (I take the natural kind that's available without prescription, and yes, it actually does work. The pharmaceutical stuff is too hardcore.) I had a minor psychotic episode and sent a really stupid email to one of my associates. Nothing as bad as the time when I took a bunch of hallucinogens in high school and called this guy and told him I was in love with him, but stupid anyway. Rude and paranoid, not idiotic declarations of lust. Once I realized that I actually had sent it, I sent another one explaining my lunatic ravings and asking the person to please ignore and delete the first email. I really want to come back in my next life with normal mentation but with the good sense to be creative and off center. Can I please??
I want to do some new things with this blog so as not to give away the entire book too quick. I can be too generous and need to be a bit more stingy (or a bit more of an ass) because after all any profits do go to an excellent and necessary cause. I'll have to figure out just what I want to do because it's become a bit muddled. I'd like it to be a bit more personable and maybe share some thoughts on promoting. Gaaaahhhh...what a nightmare that is!
I haven't been able to sleep yet today and am pretty muddled right now. Hope this post finds you doing better than me!
Blessed be,
Lily