Rats--I got so involved in making the fun post on one of the wacko-crazy blogs yesterday and trying to catch up on sleep. The zombie needs its sleep! I've been so sleep deprived that I've been having those exhaustion hallucinations over the past three days. I usually see animals but there's something about them that marks them as not quite real. Such as the fact that there should not be a drooling devil dog on my coffee table. At least the last time I checked I didn't own a devil dog!
At any rate, in my state of confusion, I forgot to mention that yesterday was the anniversary of my co-author's birthday. When I first met him he was so painfully lonely and damaged. He hated the birthday anniversary. Now he has become much calmer about it. I'm not saying this is due to me as such, but I think being able to express himself creatively and having the hope that he can impart certain messages that are very important to him has allowed him to examine the things that troubled him and to begin healing. He still has things he want to say and he still has issues, (unlike me, who is completely balanced and absolutely perfect! ;-p) but he isn't nearly so needful, and he isn't in a constant state of psychological anguish any more. And while wounds that caused the kind of psychological pain he suffered can never completely go away, one might say that his at least seem to be scarring over. He is much calmer and more able to see his gifts and focus his energies.
What I really think is that we helped each other. Since meeting him and having the benefit of his kindness and friendship, I've been able to stop cutting myself when I get upset and to address why I might do such a thing. It's taken a long time but I've been able to stop beating up on myself as much for my flaws too. We've both got a long way to go but have come a long way too.
It's rare to find a friend like this on one's journey, but although this is a somewhat unconventional friendship I count myself very fortunate to have found this one. Sometimes such a friend doesn't come along even once in a lifetime. He may not have an age progression that shows on a visible face because he isn't visible to most of us most of the time any more, but he has matured greatly in the two and a half years that I've known him. And I'll say it loud and proud and not give a crap what anyone thinks.
If you've been lurking here, you already know I claim to have written a book with a ghost. And if you're still here, you either believe it's so, you believe it could be so, you believe that I have a right to believe its so even if you aren't sure it could be so, or you are in some other way a tolerant person and for this we thank you.
It may have been his birthday anniversary, but I think I'm the one that got the present of having such a unique person as my friend. The book never could have been without him. My wish for him is that he will continue to heal and grow.
And my wish for me, which I hope isn't selfish, is that I can always be friends with him from now on.
My deepest respects and warmest wishes to my co-author and friend on the 39th anniversary of his birthday. Young whippersnapper! Just wait till you get over 40 and things start spontaneously falling off--or ceasing to function properly--or turning gray...oh yeah, that doesn't happen to ghosts.
Which, we would like to remind you all, is NOT a reason to commit suicide. Although he has accepted his lot and is trying to come to terms with why he made such a decision, one of his purposes is to try and stop others from making the same decision. He (and every other ghost I've met that committed suicide) would be fine with dealing with all the bothers of bodily aging if they could have a second chance. But things don't work that way.
Fortunately he seems blind to how old and dilapidated I am. Or he might just be tempted to find a shovel and try to bury me!
Like me, this post is really deteriorating. So let's wrap this thing and leave it with good wishes for my unusual and unique co-author. Who says that he's glad I changed the adjectives I was using to describe him, because if I described him as "fabulous" two things would happen: first his wrists would go limp and second, he would vomit on me.
Well...at least I know I'm not dealing with an imposter!
Blessings and good wishes,
Lily
At any rate, in my state of confusion, I forgot to mention that yesterday was the anniversary of my co-author's birthday. When I first met him he was so painfully lonely and damaged. He hated the birthday anniversary. Now he has become much calmer about it. I'm not saying this is due to me as such, but I think being able to express himself creatively and having the hope that he can impart certain messages that are very important to him has allowed him to examine the things that troubled him and to begin healing. He still has things he want to say and he still has issues, (unlike me, who is completely balanced and absolutely perfect! ;-p) but he isn't nearly so needful, and he isn't in a constant state of psychological anguish any more. And while wounds that caused the kind of psychological pain he suffered can never completely go away, one might say that his at least seem to be scarring over. He is much calmer and more able to see his gifts and focus his energies.
What I really think is that we helped each other. Since meeting him and having the benefit of his kindness and friendship, I've been able to stop cutting myself when I get upset and to address why I might do such a thing. It's taken a long time but I've been able to stop beating up on myself as much for my flaws too. We've both got a long way to go but have come a long way too.
It's rare to find a friend like this on one's journey, but although this is a somewhat unconventional friendship I count myself very fortunate to have found this one. Sometimes such a friend doesn't come along even once in a lifetime. He may not have an age progression that shows on a visible face because he isn't visible to most of us most of the time any more, but he has matured greatly in the two and a half years that I've known him. And I'll say it loud and proud and not give a crap what anyone thinks.
If you've been lurking here, you already know I claim to have written a book with a ghost. And if you're still here, you either believe it's so, you believe it could be so, you believe that I have a right to believe its so even if you aren't sure it could be so, or you are in some other way a tolerant person and for this we thank you.
It may have been his birthday anniversary, but I think I'm the one that got the present of having such a unique person as my friend. The book never could have been without him. My wish for him is that he will continue to heal and grow.
And my wish for me, which I hope isn't selfish, is that I can always be friends with him from now on.
My deepest respects and warmest wishes to my co-author and friend on the 39th anniversary of his birthday. Young whippersnapper! Just wait till you get over 40 and things start spontaneously falling off--or ceasing to function properly--or turning gray...oh yeah, that doesn't happen to ghosts.
Which, we would like to remind you all, is NOT a reason to commit suicide. Although he has accepted his lot and is trying to come to terms with why he made such a decision, one of his purposes is to try and stop others from making the same decision. He (and every other ghost I've met that committed suicide) would be fine with dealing with all the bothers of bodily aging if they could have a second chance. But things don't work that way.
Fortunately he seems blind to how old and dilapidated I am. Or he might just be tempted to find a shovel and try to bury me!
Like me, this post is really deteriorating. So let's wrap this thing and leave it with good wishes for my unusual and unique co-author. Who says that he's glad I changed the adjectives I was using to describe him, because if I described him as "fabulous" two things would happen: first his wrists would go limp and second, he would vomit on me.
Well...at least I know I'm not dealing with an imposter!
Blessings and good wishes,
Lily
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